Those surface area emotions, joy, peace, happiness, and contentment have now become deep rooted emotions because I’ve made it to the other side. Instead of being fearful and stricken with worry, I can now rest in the peace (serenity) of accepting things I can’t change.

Trying to maintain the persona of one who is brave, but on the inside the fear and worry are chipping away at your core can be tough

I call it RELATIONAL FEAR, because with it comes collateral damage. Not only was I gripped by it (fear), but its effects were felt by those with whom I was in relationship with

People who don’t deal with fear, don’t realize how debilitating it is. If you want to torture somebody, make them afraid. I’ve done quite a bit of work with clients suffering from fear, worry, anxiety…whatever you want to call that thought gripping thing that makes it almost impossible to function at times.

You keep trying to make your partner listen, but the more you say “no” the less you are heard and the more forceful the situation gets. It happens, you are forced to have sex, unconsented and even painful, and to top it off you are insulted at the end because of “poor performance”

Psychological abuse leads to self criticism, self-doubt, second guessing almost everything you do, second guessing memories or events, increases shame, guilt, and makes you feel unwanted, unloved, unlovable, broken, a shell of a person. Some people experience it as depression, others as anxiety, but when we dig deep…it’s the aftermath of an ongoing, never ending psychological warfare.

Financial abuse is difficult to point out because we live in a society where talking about money has been deemed rude. It’s also difficult, because although we are a “progressive society” we still hold gender roles close to heart, where one person takes charge of finances in the home.

Abuse includes inflicting physical pain, it also includes unwanted intercourse within the partnered couple, and it includes emotional and verbal pain

You and your family have an opportunity for growth and try to do things a little better. You can rebuild that connection that you lost with your teen, just by putting words around that emotion that they couldn’t explain and helping them feel seen.

One of the top goals that I hear from parents in session is “I wish they would communicate with me, and tell me what was going on”. Here's the thing, if we as their parents don’t know how to recognize all the emotions, where are our teens learning it from?

We blame social media for our teens and all the things that they do wrong. Look at how much we look to social media for an answer. I start conversations about the funny tik-tok or start my hair about by showing my hairdresser a pin from pinterest. Whether we like it or not, social media is a part of our lives, for better or for worse.

How do our daughters navigate this chaotic culture? The information and messages they get in a day can be utterly overwhelming with a device in their hand and social media at their fingertips. They have so much competing for their attention….