The Importance of Connection to Reduce Anxiety
There is a public health epidemic on the rise. No, it's not mumps or measles, or black plague. It's not bird flu or swine flu or regular flu. It's much more of a silent epidemic. The effects of this epidemic are deadly. In a society where living with air pollution increases likelihood of premature death by 5%, living with obesity increases your odds of dying early by 20%, and obsessive drinking by 30%, this epidemic increases our odds of dying early by 45%!! The silent killer? Loneliness. Given these staggering statistics, let's talk about the importance of connection to reduce anxiety - and keep us alive and healthy into our senior years!
How did we get here?
The epidemic of loneliness certainly didn't happen overnight. Looking back, we can notice a shift when our society shifted from one focused on farming to a more industrially-based model. This made us much more mobile and we moved further and further from familial connections.
Our society also values a individualistic mind-set. A go-it-alone mentality. I can do it myself. Unfortunately, over time, this has morphed into "my way or the highway" and more and more separated camps of ideals, further separating us.
And then, there's social media.Now don't get me wrong, I have spent my fair share of time scrolling through FaceBook! And, on a surface level, social media can help us to keep tabs on one another. But only on a surface level. It's an inch deep and a mile wide. And it's far too easy to actually increase our anxiety by comparing our messy lives to the photoshopped outside of our "friends" lives!
The Antidote -
The Importance of Connection to Reduce Anxiety
In research on loneliness, it has been found that our collective ability to connect, plan, and work together -- not our rugged individualism -- is where we draw strength. Our experience of loneliness is a lack of meaningful social interactions, from our intimate relationships to connections with friends and family, to our work environments and beyond. As social creatures, we are meant to connect socially. Our DNA favors inter-dependence over independence.Remember Harry Harlow's rhesus monkey experiment from your Psych 101 class? He showed that baby monkeys would choose a warm, comforting presence over a cold stark one, even when the metal monkey frame offered a food option? This is a reminder that connection is often more important than food!
Build your "tribe"
Since, as humans, we actually thrive on INTER-dependence, it's important to have our "tribe" to connect with, to celebrate with, and to reach out to for support when life gets tough. These are your "marble jar friends" who you do real life with, even when things get messy. You can pick up the phone and call them at 2am. We don't need to have a lot of these relationships, but one or two are imperative.
Common Humanity
Common humanity is the opposite of isolation. Isolation says "I'm the only one who feels this way", whereas common humanity says, "I'm not alone in this. Other people find this difficult, as well!". Isolation drives loneliness, but when we remember that everyone goes through hard things in life, we are less likely to isolation and more likely to reach out for support.
IRL!
Keep in mind that, although there is definitely convenience in connecting virtually, NOTHING matches the benefit of getting together with others in real life. It is believed that part of the rise in the loneliness epidemic is the belief that we can have equal experiences online, but that simply is not the case. So, keep tabs of friends and loved ones online, but be intentional about making plans face to face! Your mental, emotional, and physical health depend on it!
If you could use some help building your support system, give Harper Therapy a call! Our therapists Alina and Yiara are skilled at helping women moved from anxious and overwhelmed to connected, purposeful, and powerful.
